Ridonculous Race Contestant Biographies
by Balin Lord of Moria
Summary: A questionnaire reveals what kind of folks the Ridonculous Race contestants are and what makes them tick, especially regarding traveling. Based off of Total Drama contestant bios that used to be on Total Drama Online.
1. Part 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Total Drama_ or _The Ridonculous Race_. They belong to Teletoon and Fresh TV. I don't own Total Drama Online, either.

 **A/N:** The following are fanon biographies of my own devising that could have existed on Total Drama Online listed of every Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race contestant. They are loosely based off of the questionnaires asked to the contestants of World Tour and Revenge of the Island from Total Drama Online.

* * *

 **PART 1**

 **Brody**

 **What is your best quality?**

Being one of the most sincere and fair-playing dudes in Total Drama history. That, and my talent of downing an entire pot of pork and beans!

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• David Bowtie

• Sea green

• Deadly Weapon 2

• Beans and burritos

 **Describe your favorite country.**

America, dude! It's the only place on Earth with more dude ranches than Canada!

 **Best travel so far?**

I once visited San Francisco. The Golden Gate Bridge and the Transamerican Pyramid are awesome, and there's lots of cool stuff to do in Chinatown.

 **Worst travel so far?**

Detroit. Man, that place is so a dystopia! Crime, grime, and slime everywhere, and a bad economy, too! I can see why the city was used as a locale in the movie Cybercop!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Cage dive with Great White Sharks, take pilot lessons, finish a triathlon and learn to speak Spanish.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Clint Eastwood, the greatest dude of them all!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Geoff's my best bro, but sometimes he thinks I'm letting him down. He's temporarily fooled by other people's attempts to mess with us and split us apart. Dude, I know Geoff would never let me down, and I'd never let him down!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Germany is so cool! I wanna go there, eat a genuine German bratwurst, drink a good, stiff beer (after I'm the right age to do so), and sing folk songs at Oktoberfest!

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd donate a lot of the money to support keeping the oceans clean, and to fund the right for today's youth to go surfing anytime, anywhere, any day. I'd use some of it to pay for college and give a share to Geoff's girl, Bridgette, too.

* * *

 **Carrie**

 **What is your best quality?**

My empathy. It's easy for me to tell what other people are feeling, so I know when Devin likes me the way I love him. Or rather, when he loves Shelley.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Adelie

• Sunny yellow

• My Sassy Girl (Korean version)

• Grilled chicken, or fried

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Italy is so romantic and so beautiful! I want to retire in Venice (before the city sinks) and take lots of rides on gondolas, eat pasta at an elegant restaurant, and become a round American-Italian citizen.

 **Best travel so far?**

I once visited Quebec. I loved the French culture there, and also learned to speak French during my stay.

 **Worst travel so far?**

I dreamed that Shelley took me to North Korea, and turned me over to Kim Jong-un personally. Then I was sent to a prison camp for hard labor. Damn Shelley!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

See Yosemite Park and its bears, have fun in Hersheypark and eat a record number of Hershey Kisses, ride a gondola, and marry Devin.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Easy. Shelley. That fog witch always gets in the way not only of me, but also Devin's attention span!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Devin is so adorable, but I have a nagging feeling that his empathy is weaker than mine. We've known each other since we were very little, and he still can't perceive that we have a connection. I'm going to be alone forever!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Italy, of course, or France. I want to woo Devin in one of the most romantic spots on Earth, and I want to do it before Shelley can beat me to the punch!

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I would buy a nice, modest mansion in a safe, beautiful neighborhood, settle down with Devin, and make the mansion's interior into an extreme home.

* * *

 **Chet**

 **What is your best quality?**

I'm stronger, smarter, and handsomer than my jerk of a stepbrother, Lorenzo.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Rock 'n roll

• The color of snot

• Ninja Dinosaurs 4

• Meaty pizza

 **Describe your favorite country.**

My own, Canada. Who cares about getting off your butt and journeying to strange places full of strange people? Not me!

 **Best travel so far?**

Down to the local arcade for some fun and games.

 **Worst travel so far?**

The house where Lorenzo's family, my in-laws, live.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Win a high score at Immortal Kombat, read all the Captain Canada comics, and bury Lorenzo in a hole so deep, he won't know which way is up.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Nobody. I'm happy being the cool guy I am!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Lorenzo had better stay out of my way, or else it's gonna be a world of pain for him!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

If I had to travel, I'd say Great Britain. Good food, good pubs, and I don't have too much of a language barrier.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

Buy all the monster and ninja DVDs and video games in existence, and binge watch/play them in my room.

* * *

 **Crimson**

 **What is your best quality?**

I accept the dark side of life, and I don't fear it, like so many non-Goths do.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Heavy metal

• Crimson red, the color of blood

• Vampira, Part 6

• Rare veal

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Finland is awesome, and beautiful. It has a cold climate, four months of total darkness, and Goth music is mainstream.

 **Best travel so far?**

Ennui and I visited a haunted castle in Germany. The place felt like it actually was inhabited by ghosts. Vlad Dracula would've loved it.

 **Worst travel so far?**

A concert in Vienna, Austria. The light, sweet, classical music coming from all those stringed instruments made me want to shudder.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Be buried alive in a coffin for an hour, drink lots of red wine, buy half a dozen flamboyant Goth dresses, and live in Finland.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Elvira. She is pale as a ghost, has cleavage like melons, and can suck a mean streak of fresh blood.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Ennui can be a little theatrical sometimes. He needs to remember more often that Goths do not display drama.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Transylvania, Romania, same as Ennui. The idea of getting to see Count Dracula's castle and tomb up close and personal makes me feel… fulfilled.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

"…Mmm, you know, Goth stuff…"

* * *

 **Devin**

 **What is your best quality?**

I can love a girl with all my heart and soul, no matter who she is or what she's like, just like Shelley feels for me!

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Celine Dion

• Pale purple

• Planes, Trains and Automobiles

• Apples

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Tahiti is my favorite country. It's lovely, it's natural, and its natives are some of the happiest people on Earth. I'd love to live on a deserted Tahitian island, or maybe Teti'aroa, Marlon Brando's old home.

 **Best travel so far?**

I took an exciting vacation on Lake Ontario with Carrie. It was so delightful, listening to her joyous squeals whenever something amazing happened. It's like she's in love, but I wonder, with whom?

 **Worst travel so far?**

I've never been anywhere I hated. Weird, don't you think?

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Master the game of tennis with Shelley and Ashton's help, go on worldwide adventures with Carrie, and maybe even try roasting pinecones instead of marshmallows. I want to see what a roasted pinecone looks like, and smells like.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

I've always wanted to experience what it's like to be a K-Drama actor. They get some of the best acting roles on the planet, and that includes Japan, France, and even America.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Carrie's the perfect best friend. What kind of problems could we possibly have?

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Seoul, South Korea. It has excellent K-Pop, kimchi, video games, cup-stacking contests, music, and advancements in technology, not to mention the world's fastest Wi-Fi. The best ever!

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd split it into thirds, one for Shelley, one for Carrie, and one for me. Then I'd use my share to buy the most lavish and expensive gifts for Shelley, and the best adolescent toys for Carrie.

* * *

 **Dwayne**

 **What is your best quality?**

My ruggedly handsome charm. I can sweet talk almost anyone into befriending me. Almost.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Pop music

• Gray

• WALL-E-I-E-I-O

• Mashed potatoes and gravy

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Japan has the most lovely women of any country I know, and the most spectacular feminine advertisements ever, too. For a country with little gender equality, they sure do love their women, and I can see why. DON'T TELL MY WIFE!

 **Best travel so far?**

We once visited Puerto Rico when Junior was five, and wowsers, it's so much like its host country, America! Uh, isn't it the 51st state?

 **Worst travel so far?**

On a flight to Las Vegas, I almost hit on a hooker by complete accident. Boy, was my wife mad! Junior was pretty embarrassed by that, too. He shouldn't witness things like that at his age.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I've already done a lot of stuff, but let's see. I want to see Junior grow up, achieve his dreams, and become a success in life. I also want to find and eat the best pizza in the world!

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Chevy Chase, I say. The man plays some of the smartest lead characters in modern comedy, and, like me, he has a ruggedly handsome charm.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Junior's a great kid, but like all kids, he needs to be kept in line sometimes. I'm a little afraid he might be growing up too fast, and kids should enjoy their childhood while it lasts, with plenty of balloons and lollipops!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Kenya, in one word: Wildlife!

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd buy a better home in a bigger, fancier suburb, and finish paying off my financial debts to my wife and my company.

* * *

 **A/N:** Have any of you readers noticed some of the satirical references to real life pop culture and other things throughout the story? This was also done on Total Drama Online with the canon contestant bios. I'll be doing more of it as I continue this fanfic.

Stay tuned for Part 2, soon!


	2. Part 2

**PART 2**

 **Ellody**

 **What is your best quality?**

Elementary. My best quality is my ability to calculate even the hardest geometrical problems, and come to sound conclusions.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• The Big Bang Theory theme song

• Aqua blue

• Vengeance of the Geeks

• Broccoli

 **Describe your favorite country.**

It's a tie between America and Russia. Even though these nations have been uneasy friends for some time, they both contain some of the most genius minds in the world, scientists who have solved many mathematical problems, built spacecrafts and weapons so powerful, and made all kinds of inventions to benefit and entertain the good people of the world.

 **Best travel so far?**

I've been to the National Museum of Natural History. I don't think I've ever seen more astounding specimens of animals, fossils, or minerals in my life! It's like heaven for a scientist like me.

 **Worst travel so far?**

A Christian acquaintance once took me to a creationism museum. Honestly, who thinks of these preposterous notions of man and dinosaurs living side by side, or of the Earth speed-creating in six 24 hour days? I felt like such an outsider, but a righteous one, too.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Be the first woman to equal, or surpass, Albert Einstein's genius publicly, fly with Andean Condors, study Chris McLean's so-called wooly beavers on Boney Island, make a garden full of unique plants to feed the world, and maybe even design a possible concept for a utopia.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Richard Dawkins, or perhaps Carl Sagan, even though he's dead. They're great modern scientists, and Sagan's work was similar to astrophysics in some ways, and I think they'd stand out as landmark figures even more if one of them was a woman, like me.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Mary is sometimes SO picky. When we study together at one of our houses, she yells at me if I open the freezer for some ice cream, or if I drink green tea, claiming the cold and the smells bother her. It's like she's crazy!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

I want to see the Galápagos Islands. They've got beautiful, rocky beaches, rugged shorelines and more unique plant and animal life than you can shake a stick at, plus, its natural history is fascinating.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

Donate a lot of it to astrophysics, of course, but I'd also use some of it to have my bedroom interior decorated just like a planetarium. It's almost as good as lying under the real stars.

* * *

 **Emma**

 **What is your best quality?**

My no-nonsense, analytical commitment to what's important in life.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Feathers

• White

• Chimatown

• Rice and biscuits

 **Describe your favorite country.**

China. It's where my ancestors came from, and according to family history, they were hard working and diligent people. East Asia is known for not having many slackers, and I'm proud to be descended from such a nation.

 **Best travel so far?**

The family visited Shanghai one time, and we went to the classiest club restaurant in town. It was almost like Indiana Jones' Club Obi-Wan. Maybe it was Club Obi-Wan.

 **Worst travel so far?**

Kitty dragged me to a sleepover with her pals in downtown Manitoba. Ugh! You can only imagine the screams throughout the city, and not just from Kitty's bratty friends.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I intend to become a prosecuting attorney, lock up as many crooks and misdemeanors as I can, and generally avoid commitment with odd boys who only stab you in the back.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

I could've been Malcolm X, only a woman instead of a man. He was always great at giving fiery, impassioned speeches and condemning people he called "devils." He would've made a great lawyer.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Kitty can be SO distracted by things she thinks are fun. She won't pay attention to the task at hand and would rather be a cheerful little loose cannon. She'll be a liability on the Race!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

I guess, any part of China I still haven't visited. I think you already know why.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

Obviously, I'd use it all to pay for law school, as well as any other courses I might have to go through to achieve my goal.

* * *

 **Ennui**

 **What is your best quality?**

I've adapted well to the darkness, and as a result, I can see good in evil and evil in good.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Steelica

• Midnight black

• Vlad Dracula's Dracula

• Bloody steaks

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Sweden is my personal favorite, with Finland being a close second. Sweden is so… dark and cold during the winter, people don't really wear thermal underwear, like the legends say, and their cinema is laced with dark poetry and darker studies of character and emotion.

 **Best travel so far?**

That haunted castle in Germany could have been a tomb for all the wicked men of Germania, all the way from the ancient founders to the Nazis.

 **Worst travel so far?**

A concert in Vienna was so appallingly upbeat, with all its cellos and violins and pianos. I felt like something cute and cuddly was wrapping itself around my body.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Drink red wine in Transylvania, meditate in a graveyard, and score one for the entire world of Goth.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Vlad Dracula himself. He was the father of all devoted Goths, and it would be inwardly exhilarating to be him for a day, or a death.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

CrImson is perfect. I don't have any problems with her.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Transylvania, Romania, same as Crimson. Getting to see the bats, the bogeymen, and the master of bad himself, is like that funny feeling called… happiness.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

"…Hmm, don't know…"

* * *

 **Geoff**

 **What is your best quality?**

I don't care what others think about me, unless they're very close friends or family, like Bridgette and Brody. I'm happy to be myself, dude!

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Paul McCarthrey and the Beetles

• Sky blue

• Daywatch

• Scrambled eggs and fried bacon

 **Describe your favorite country.**

The good ol' U.S.A. is the most radical one ever, especially in California. Some of the best surfing in this side of the world, and babes and chicks that can melt your heart like ice cream in the sun!

 **Best travel so far?**

I visited Australia last year with Bridgette. It had awesome surfing shores, too, and I loved the way the 'mates' there spoke their version of English. Of course, Bridgette's gone back there by herself for a surfing tour, so I can't race with her, but Brody will make an excellent substitute in the Race!

 **Worst travel so far?**

Camp Wawanakwa, to be honest. That show was a new definition of ridiculous-I mean, ridonculous, man, and that dude Chris has a few screws loose. Plus, the place was a mess. But I'm still happy I made all the friends I met there.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Wear a chain mail diving suit and dive with Mako Sharks, go fishing for Blue Sharks, challenge a Tiger Shark to eat me (with me outsmarting him, of course), and doing some sort of world record breaking stunt on a surfboard.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

David Hasselhoff is so awesome. It'd be radical playing his role as lifeguard of a beach full of sexy folks!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Brody's my best bro, so I don't ever want to let him down. But sometimes, I wonder if I might be doing so without meaning to do it. Brody and I have got to stick together as a team if we're gonna win the Race.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

New Zealand sounds cool, because it has a lot in common with its neighbor, Australia, yet it's so different at the same time. I don't know what that means, man, but I'd love to find out!

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

For sure, a generous amount would be shared with Bridgette when she comes home from her tour. But I'd also use my share to buy my own dude ranch, a lifetime's supply of ranch food, especially pork and beans, and a handsome, tame horse to ride around and help me lasso all the cattle.

* * *

 **Gerry**

 **What is your best quality?**

The fact that I can still charm even the best of tennis fans in my old age.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• O' Canada

• Yellow-green (the color of a tennis ball)

• A Billie Jean Queen documentary

• Ham and cheese sandwiches

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Pete and I played in Wimbledon when we were in our early '30s. That's in Britain, of course. I adored everything there: the green playing field, the smell of the nylon rackets, the strong, sturdy net, and the look on Pete's face when I hit a ball and it bounced off the top of his head while he had sweat in his eyes!

 **Best travel so far?**

To Wimbledon. I think I already described it to you. But hey, did I mention that Pete retaliated by hitting me on the head, too? Yeah, except he did it with his racket!

 **Worst travel so far?**

To a British jail for one night, because my physical rivalry with Pete was getting out of hand. Our lawyers had to cancel a special party just to fly all the way to London and bail us out. Man, did they glare!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I don't have a lot of life left, I've lived most of it. But I definitely wanna win this Race, and also to outfox Pete's own twisted sense of humor. When will he ever learn that I'm the funnier one of us?

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Billie Jean Queen, for certain. She's the best tennis player in the world, and she's a lesbian, so I could still be attracted to women instead of Pete!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Pete and I snooze a lot when we rest, and Pete drools in his sleep. Keeping wide awake is gonna be crucial if we're gonna win, but I'm not certain if that's possible.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

I want to retire in southern Florida, 'cause that's where all the great looking girls are, and an old guy like me can get a limitless supply of nice, cool cocktails, good back rubs, a relaxed, non-pro game of tennis or badminton, and a break from Pete's antics. I might even visit Cypress Cove's nudist resort. That'd be freeing!

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

First thing, I'd lay off my agent, 'cause I wouldn't need him anymore. Then, I'd buy myself a little island. Maybe Maui! No, I think the Florida Keys would be more realistic. Seriously! Finally, I'd move in and bring along a life size tennis court, an artificial waterfall, solar power panels on my house's roof, and a swimming pool shaped like a wave pool. Hey, maybe it could be an actual wave pool!

* * *

 **Jacques**

 **What is your best quality?**

I'm a good follower. I know when and how far to jump when Josee orders me to do something.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Classic

• Gold (not silver!)

• The Cutting Edge of Fame

• Ratatouille

 **Describe your favorite country.**

My Canadian family is descended from the French. France is such a lovely country. The architecture, the music, the cuisine, the mimes, this nation has it all! If only we had won the Olympics, then we could've had the most opulent vacation there! Well, at least we have another chance at gold!

 **Best travel so far?**

Before meeting Josee, my parents took me to see an ice dancing show in New York City. The flawless grace of those skaters inspired me to try my own feet at it. I've never tired of reminiscing about that occasion.

 **Worst travel so far?**

The Olympics, where we could've won and taken the gold, but took the blasted silver instead… Aaahhhh! (Cries)

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

After we win the Race, I want to buy a luxury hotel, buy the penthouse suite to live in, and decorate it with some hunting trophies I was given by a friendly acquaintance who was a sportsman. I also want to get a warm, outdoor hot tub, and maybe even marry Josee.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

The lucky jerk who won the Olympic gold in our place, then we'd have the medal we deserve!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Josee is quite volatile when she's in a competition, and even in training, especially when things aren't going in her favor. You wouldn't believe how scary, or violent, she can be when she's mad!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Hawaii is a place I've always wanted to visit on vacation, but ice dancing practice and other circumstances with Josee have made me unable to get there so far. Maybe I can convince Josee to join me there for a romantic luau, but then again, Josee's too interested in victory to think about much else lately.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I kind of answered that already, when you were asking me about my lifelong to-do list.


	3. Part 3

**PART 3**

 **Jay**

 **What is your best quality?**

Oh, I'd say my tenacity in the face of all the adversity Mickey and I face in life.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Holding Out For A Hero

• Chlorophyll green (it's gentlest on my eyes)

• Henry Propper

• Ground soy beans

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Personally, I like Switzerland. Sure, there's no place in the world where Mickey and I are completely safe from our adversities, but Switzerland has the crispiest air, the loveliest mountains, and enough neutrality that we could live in relative peace and safety from political danger. Of course, Mickey and I won't be going skiing or anything; heights give Mickey nosebleeds.

 **Best travel so far?**

Our parents took us on vacation to Switzerland a year ago. The skiing scared the willies out of me, but the beautiful sights, the luxury, and the soothing air were all but the best! Give me my breathalyzer and a lifetime supply of allergy pills, and I'm raring to go!

 **Worst travel so far?**

Peru. Two years ago, we went to Peru, and explored the rain forests in our downtime. I never guessed I could be so allergic to so many creepy bugs, spiders, monkeys, and jaguars all at once. Fortunately, because fire ant bites don't affect him, Mickey had it a little easier than me.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Oh, man, I don't like to think much about the future. I'm always afraid cripples, paralysis, or even death will catch up to me anytime. All I know for sure is I'll continue to face adversity as bravely as I can for the rest of my life!

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

I'd switch places with almost anybody with much less adversity in their life than me!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Obviously, the adversity issues will be the biggest challenge, but Mickey tends to be extra paranoid about our problems, and I'm afraid he'll lose the heart to play the game early on.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Zimbabwe is my favorite African country. I'd love to see the wildlife and have a little photographic safari with Mickey and our parents. Plus, the savannah of Africa doesn't have too much that we're allergic to.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd use it carefully and slowly to pay for everything Mickey and I need to keep ourselves going in the face of all our handicaps and difficulties in life. Imagine how smooth our lives will be if we can buy all the pain pills, armor, and medicine in America!

* * *

 **Jen**

 **What is your best quality?**

I have impeccable taste in the trendiest fashions that exist today, and I look good wearing them.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Jazz

• Light blue

• 10 Things I Love About You

• French bread and butter

 **Describe your favorite country.**

India is a country with the most amazing and unique fashions. I almost wish I were Indian myself, because I want to try on a woman's sari with a choli top. With my superb tan, I imagine I could almost pass for an Indian myself.

 **Best travel so far?**

I saw a lot of elephants in Sri Lanka, and were they fun to ride.

 **Worst travel so far?**

The Indian slums are such a sad place. People are dirt poor, they eat polluted food and water, they live in run-down "houses," and worst of all, their fashions are the worst I've ever seen, with some of the people looking like they sprouted from under the gray earth.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Become a famous fashion designer, maintain a lasting partnership with Tom, maybe a romantic one someday, and introduce Canada and America to the status of the most fashionable people in the world.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

I'd like to be Padmé from the Star Wars prequels. She wore the most amazing and beautifully tailored clothing I've ever seen, and not just in the movies. Besides, she's a woman who didn't need to be saved by a man.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Tom has some of the oddest ideas about what's fashionable, and always wants me to agree with him that they're great. We can have such creative differences sometimes, I'm sometimes amazed we've never split up!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Spain. I really want to see the bullfights, the cultural dances, the colorful fashion, and listen to a native Spaniard speak Spanish.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd invest it in mass manufacturing classy blouses and skirts to distribute to clothing stores all over Canada, and get even richer than the million dollar prize would make me.

* * *

 **Josee**

 **What is your best quality?**

What else? My fiery determination to win, which I'm going to do on this Race!

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Tchaikovsky

• Gold (definitely not bronze!)

• The Cutting Edge of Victory

• Cake

 **Describe your favorite country.**

France is the best one ever. It's so elegant, with all its lovely culture, and it has the best wines I've ever tasted. Red or white, I'll drink to that! I just wish we had won the gold, so we could afford to live there, instead of in dirty old Canada!

 **Best travel so far?**

A café in Paris. I visited it with my mother when I was 19, and tasted the best coffee I've ever had. It's also where I met Jacques while he too was visiting Paris, and after learning that we both love ice dancing and conniving, I knew we'd make the perfect skating partnership. Although it seems that Jacques' charm has gotten a bit rusty since then.

 **Worst travel so far?**

The Olympics. Jacques' clumsiness cost us the gold. While silver is better than bronze, the medal of shame, it's nowhere near good enough to substitute for gold. If we win the million dollars on The Ridonculous Race, however, I'll gladly forgive Jacques for being a klutz. And for his sake, we'd better win!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Quite simple. I want to become a queen, sit on a gold throne with a gold scepter, and rule the world! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

The fancy broad who got the gold at the Olympics. She thinks she's such a princess; I'll show her!

 **Your greatest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Jacques is both an asset and a clumsy ass at the same time, and his former charm seems to have been replaced with naïveté and stupidity. Of course, I know what to do with him if we don't win the Race. You can bet on that!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

I want to do my best skating moves in the Arctic Circle. Jacques is a bit timid about skating on unstable ice in a frozen region, but I told him it was either that or he can dive to the bottom of the sea and find the Titanic, without me. It was not a contest.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd buy the most fabulous castle in the world and load it with hoarded gold and jewels. Then I'd relax on a heap of it like a bed. Finally, some hot young men would pamper me and serve my every wish and every whim. And I deserve it!

* * *

 **Junior**

 **What is your best quality?**

I'm growing up like a weed, and I'm ready to meet the hot girls!

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Fall Out Boys

• Navy blue

• First Action Hero

• Cheeseburger with fries

 **Describe your favorite country.**

The U.S. of A. It's so cool! Excellent burgers, pizzas and hot dogs, exciting American football and baseball, and the freedom to do almost anything you want, within the boundaries of the law, of course.

 **Best travel so far?**

Once, when visiting Chicago, Mom and Dad took me to a baseball game in Wrigley Field. I've never done anything more fun than sit in a bleacher and watch the Chicago Cubs win a game while enjoying a Coke, peanuts, and a hot dog! I'll go back there any time!

 **Worst travel so far?**

In Alaska, I almost got frozen in a blizzard when our rental car broke down and we had to hike two miles to the nearest city in order to find shelter. Whoa! I'm just glad Mom and Dad were there to protect me from the worst of the wind!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Date and marry a hot girl, get some chest hair, have three brave kids like myself, live near a bookstore, and age into a ruddy, handsome old man.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

I don't have to. Even with Dad embarrassing me sometimes, I'm happy to be me.

 **Your greatest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Dad thinks I still need to be looked after strictly. He treats me like I'm five or six years old, when I'm really thirteen, and he seems to be a little…what's the word? Oh, yeah. Pretentious. I just hope he doesn't embarrass me in public during the Race.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

I wanna go to Japan. I wanna learn about the history and culture, and Japanese teens have lots of great games, especially video games. Sushi sounds like it's pretty good, too.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I can't spend too much of it independently, because of my age, but I hope Mom and Dad put a fair amount of it into my bank account, so I can get a start on supporting myself.

* * *

 **Kelly**

 **What is your best quality?**

I'm the "cool" mother. I can retain my youth very well, albeit with lots of make-up, hair gel, and a girly wardrobe.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Colbie Caillat

• Blush pink

• Mother of the Bride

• Gnocchi

 **Describe your favorite country.**

I'm not sure. I haven't done a lot of traveling. But I've always been interested in France. Paris sounds like a wonderful city to go to for romance, and my husband might like it, too. Of course, I'm not sure if Taylor would share my sentiment.

 **Best travel so far?**

The best place I have ever "traveled" to is, well, a Toys 'R Us about twenty miles from our home. Some of Taylor's best toys and dolls came from that store, although her daddy took her there more often than I did, admittedly. Taylor loved the toys, and then she expended them.

 **Worst travel so far?**

Taylor's high school, probably. I can't believe so many kids there can't see that she's too spoiled to be cool, or hot, but I guess that's partly my fault for being involved in spoiling her with daddy.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

There's not a lot I can do at this point of my life. But I would like to convince Taylor that there's more to life than getting everything you want in life. If I fail, Taylor will never be respected as a woman, and she'll spend the rest of her life crying in an institution!

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Sometimes I wish I could switch with my husband. Taylor's such a daddy's girl. They have lots in common, and her daddy still humors her every wish and whim, while I'm trying to resist doing that. Oh, Jim's SO lucky!

 **Your greatest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

As I just said, Taylor so loves her daddy, and she so despises me, and sometimes she treats me like I'm the child and she's the grown-up. She even gives me time outs. Those are supposed to be given by parents to their children, not the other way around!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Paris is the loveliest city on Earth! I want to go up the Eiffel Tower, eat some French cheese, and get drunk with my husband in a beautiful hotel room and make out with him, just like old times. Hopefully, it wouldn't take much to convince Taylor to let us have some time alone.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I don't really know, but I can tell you what I wouldn't do. I wouldn't let Jim, my husband, squander it on even more girly junk for Taylor. For once, she needs to be disciplined by me.

* * *

 **Kitty**

 **What is your best quality?**

I live in the moment and allow myself to enjoy life and have fun. I also believe in telling people what I really feel.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• K-Pop

• Tabby cat brown

• L.A. Story

• Watermelon

 **Describe your favorite country.**

I don't have a favorite country. I think they're all beautiful and cool, and loads of fun. I can also meet hot guys no matter which country I go to, and every place has great scenery where I can take a selfie!

 **Best travel so far?**

Taiwan is such a nice place. Besides being beautiful and full of culture, it isn't influenced by a ridiculous-ridonculous-Communist government, like mainland China is.

 **Worst travel so far?**

Singapore. It's a great place with yummy chili crabs, but I got an Asian detox while I was there, and was it painful! The exfoliation and the fire cups hurt so much, I couldn't smile when I took a selfie!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

See the whole world, meet the perfect guy, take a selfie in every country, and prove to Emma that I can be useful in a challenge.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

No way! I'm happy to be me! I wouldn't trade my identity with someone else's for a million dollars! But that doesn't necessarily apply to the Race; I still don't mind winning.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Emma's sweet, but she can be so stuck-up and preoccupied with her goals. She also thinks too much about the future, not living in the present, which is why her boyfriend, Jake, broke up with her.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Pretty much any place I haven't been, if it means seeing beautiful scenery and experiencing new customs, and a good selfie.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd buy six dozen photo albums for all my selfies, lots of cute clothing to attract boys, and get a job writing cute children's books and purchase a copy of each for myself.


	4. Part 4

**PART 4**

 **Laurie**

 **What is your best quality?**

My talent for maintaining serenity and peace in the face of a chaotic, meat-eating world.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Nature Sounds

• Rainbow (yes, I'm LGBT; plus, it's the color of my Rasta)

• Under Size Me

• Veggie burger with sweet potato fries

 **Describe your favorite country.**

I'm not really sure. They're all really wonderful, with their diverse cultures and authentic vegan foods. But one I especially love is the Philippines. It's a beautiful, agricultural nation, with more rural land than urban land. I know that parts of it are ridden with poverty, but I'd like to try to help them with this race's prize money.

 **Best travel so far?**

Vietnam was amazing. Their water puppet shows were unlike anything I've ever seen before, and I enjoyed the shopping districts, too.

 **Worst travel so far?**

A burger restaurant somewhere in New Jersey. I asked for a veggie burger, and the confused staff got it mixed up with a beef burger. As soon as I realized it was real meat, I nearly screamed!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I want to save the animal kingdom from extinction, become a hero for my intended causes, and avoid eating non-vegan food for the rest of my life.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Beyoncé has such a good, passionate singing voice. I'd love to sing like her.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Miles is my best friend in the world, and in some ways she's a much wiser person than I am, but sometimes she rubs it in my face a little bit. She needs to accept that we're not all as perfect as she thinks we should be. I only hope that it doesn't interfere with our running on the Race.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Pretty much anywhere I haven't been before! I love to travel and will visit anyplace if given the opportunity to do so! The only place I'd never go is North Korea.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I would donate all of my share to our favorite causes, such as: Save the Hunchback Walrus, Goat-co Eco Warriors, and People for the Ethical Treatment of Ants, among others. I'm pretty sure Miles would do the same.

* * *

 **Leonard**

 **What is your best quality?**

I can see the fantastic fantasy world better than anybody else I know, although my friend Tammy is more or less my equal in that guild!

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• The Lord of the Kings soundtrack

• Gray and green

• The Lord of the Kings

• Roast lamb, or mutton, as I call it

 **Describe your favorite country.**

New Zealand. It was the best possible country to film The Lord of the Kings films, given how much modern development has been done to England and Europe. It looks like a pure doppelgänger for Center-earth!

 **Best travel so far?**

Norway. It's the only place where people seem to take my magic seriously!

 **Worst travel so far?**

One day, when I tried to use my Chaos Barrier spell in a decathlon in Vancouver, I was tied up and thrown into the sewer system, and I was told to stay there and rot in my own charlatanry. Fortunately, one of the workmen in the sewers found me and freed me, and made sure I could take a shower before seeing anybody else.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I want to look for the biggest Live Action Role Playing game I can find, and combat and defeat the dark enemy and come out as the big hero. I also want to ensure that Dragon's Coins are used as real currency.

 **If you could trade places with someone?**

I'd switch places with Taruman, from The Lord of the Kings. I want to be as wise and great as he was, only without the evil corruption that damned his essence.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Tammy is a very decent girl; I don't have to worry about her letting me down. But I hope she's as good as I am at getting our spells right. She must be; she's never let me down before!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

I wanna go to Norway and try my hand at equaling the magical power of the ancient gods of Norse legend, especially Odin, Thor, and maybe Loki, too.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd convert it into Dragon Coins, and use it to build a realm somewhere much like Ultima Online. It's a place full of magic, monsters, medieval-like buildings, and virtues.

* * *

 **Lorenzo**

 **What is your best quality?**

The fact that I'm quicker, smarter, and handsomer than my jerk of a stepbrother, Chet.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Rock 'n roll

• The color of snot

• Ninja Gals 5

• Pepperoni pizza

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Who needs a favorite country, when you can just stay home and stick to what you know best? I don't have the time to get on a dozen planes and kabitz with some foreign weirdos!

 **Best travel so far?**

I only travel as far as the local arcade and the grocery store with my Mom, dude.

 **Worst travel so far?**

I told you, I don't travel, man; but my least favorite place in the world is Chet's family's home, the home of the in-laws.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Win a high score at Immortal Kombat, read all the Captain Canada comics, and bury Chet in a hole so deep he won't know which way is up.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Nobody. I'm too cool to care about being someone else, man!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

I'm gonna be ahead of Chet the whole way, and he'd better not trip me from behind!

 **Where would you most like to go, and why?**

If I had to travel, I'd say Great Britain. Good food, good pubs, and I don't have too much of a language barrier.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

Buy all the monster and ninja DVDs and video games in existence, and binge watch/play them in my room.

* * *

 **MacArthur**

 **What is your best quality?**

I'm a tough-as-nails soon-to-be cop, with the biggest and strongest glutes you've ever seen on a young woman! And I'm not afraid to break a few rules!

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• 90210 Cop

• Blue-collar blue

• Crazy Cop

• Well-done steak

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Any country in Europe. They've got tough, macho cops there, whom I hear are even more rough around the edges than some North American cops. Not so much Asia or the Middle East; the police there are like blindly obedient maniacs!

 **Best travel so far?**

I was fairly impressed by the professionalism of the police force down in Argentina, when I saw them bust a ring of drugs dealers during a vacation.

 **Worst travel so far?**

Well, once I pushed my authority too far when I took a wrong turn in Alberta and defied a local cop who thought someone like me didn't deserve to own a driver's license. MAN, I'LL SHOW HIM YET!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Become the most macho policewoman in southern Canada, arrest lots of tough guys (and ladies) and show them I'm stronger and smarter, and of course, become Chief of Police.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Why not Dirty Larry? He always gets away with shooting first and asking questions later! Or, maybe, Matt Cordell, 'cause he's an un-killable zombie cop.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Sanders is an excellent partner, only I wish sometimes that she'd loosen up a little and have more fun. I have a bad feeling she's going to treat this Race as seriously as a Homicide case. If we can last long enough, though, I bet I can convince her to lighten up.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

South Africa, or maybe Botswana. I've always wanted to go on a hunting safari and gain glory for my trophies, just like Teddy Roosevelt and the so-called "great white hunters."

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

Get some hunting equipment from Cabela's and a hunting lodge, plus the tools and chemicals for taxidermy, and use it all to treasure my hunting kills. Who knows? Maybe I'll even use it to keep some souvenirs from criminals if I can sneak it out of the evidence locker.

* * *

 **Mary**

 **What is your best quality?**

I know enough about navigation that I can find my way through any city, village, or even rural territory, no matter how complicated.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Epic, theatrical

• Fiery red

• Good Will Fishing

• Carp, or salmon, or maybe trout

 **Describe your favorite country.**

South Korea, or maybe its long-time animosity, Japan. These nations have such genius and enthusiasm for designing and building advanced technology, and because their cultural beliefs are different from those of America and Canada, they're not afraid of what they are doing with Artificial Intelligence in modern robots and androids.

 **Best travel so far?**

I've seen the old Greek ruins where they say the Ancient Greek gods once dwelt with the other characters from Greek mythology. While I don't take the Parthenon of Greece very seriously, it's nonetheless a very fascinating subject.

 **Worst travel so far?**

I was never more bored than when somebody brought me to a children's magic museum in Portland, Oregon, thinking I might be interested in how little kids like to see and learn about the wonders of magic and the world. Come on! Science is not child's play, it's for grown-ups!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I have a lot of goals in mind, like to build the first perfect A.I. gynoid (peaceful, not warlike, and not a sex object, either), stay pale, play a hybrid of two or more popular musical instruments, and learn in detail all about how Industrial Light & Magic made all their fantastic special effects.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Eleanor Roosevelt did a lot for women's rights, and was one of America's greatest First Ladies. I wish I were as famous and proud as she was.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Ellody is VERY talkative. I talk a lot too, but she talks even when it would distract us from an important task. She's also worse than I am at improvisation if our planned data is lost or it fails us.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Ellody once said she'd like to go to the Galápagos Islands. I share her sentiment. It is one of best places to go to study science, and it's also a great place to have some fun on the beaches.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

Well, like Ellody, I'd donate a lot of it to underfunded astrophysics. But I also want to use some to get a good education at the University of Toronto. How can I become a scientist without a college education, after all?

* * *

 **Mickey**

 **What is your best quality?**

I'm lucky that, despite all my health issues and allergies, some of them have made me immune to the negative effects of other harsh things, like extreme heat or cold, or insect bites.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Fight Song by Rachel Platten

• Chlorophyll green (it's gentlest on my eyes)

• The Bobbit: A Long-Expected Journey

• Soy cheese pizza

 **Describe your favorite country.**

I almost agree with my brother, Jay, on Switzerland, but heights give me nosebleeds, and that country has some darned high mountains! I think my favorite is… Liechtenstein. Why? One sentence… It's small, and it's unnoticeable, making it a perfect place to hide from the crowds!

 **Best travel so far?**

My family and I went for a road trip in the U.S. state named Kansas. It was WONDERFUL. Beautiful scenery, flat land, a comfortable car, and no tornados in the forecast.

 **Worst travel so far?**

Yellowstone National Park was beyond terrifying. Wild animals with strange smells, high altitudes that gave me a nosebleed, and geysers which are a sign that the earth beneath the geysers will explode like all the world's nuclear weapons concentrated in just one place. YYAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! MOMMY!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Live from one day to the next and concentrate on survival, and…not much else, really.

 **If you could trade places with someone?**

Anybody in the world. I wish I were anybody but poor, little me!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Jay and I get along pretty well, and he's the only thing that keeps me going in the face of all the chaos in the world. He and I don't fight much. That's a blessed relief!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

I'm not sure. I'd have to do a lot of research to see which countries are both most interesting and safest to visit. But if I had to choose now, maybe Iceland. No! That's got lots of volcanic activity, too! Maybe, Ireland instead. No, no! I'm allergic to clovers, even four-leafed ones, and I'm afraid of leprechauns! Oh, I don't know! Can't I just abstain from this question?

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd buy an underground bunker with plenty of home comforts and fun games, and take shelter from the mayhem of the world for the rest of my life. Except, I don't think my parents would let me do that.


	5. Part 5

**A/N:** The faves and best qualities for Noah and Owen are copied from their faves and best qualities in the official Total Drama: World Tour contestant biographies. Everything else about them and the others is as original as I can make them.

* * *

 **PART 5**

 **Miles**

 **What is your best quality?**

My ability to charm almost any person or animal into being my friend.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Arctic Echoes

• Green and red (the color of lettuce and a tomato)

• The Adventures of Milo and Otis

• Lettuce and tomato sandwich, or LT (no bacon, thank you!)

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Israel, maybe. It has amazing religious history, beautiful architecture, and it's the best place in the world to meet Jews, it being one of the last Jewish strongholds in the world. I also love the fact that it has such nice animals, especially sheep and doves.

 **Best travel so far?**

Jerusalem is the most amazing city, and my favorite feature there is the Dome of the Rock, because it looks awesome, and because it's the apparent location for a significant event in all three major monotheistic religions.

 **Worst travel so far?**

I witnessed a terrorist suicide bombing while on the street somewhere in Israel. Thank God it didn't hit me, but I felt so sorry for the innocent victims!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I want to save the animal kingdom from extinction, become a hero for my intended causes, and avoid eating non-vegan food for the rest of my life. Maybe someday, I'll try being a naturist, too.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Stephanie Viviani of Veg Out Las Vegas. She's a famous rockstar chef at the Fresh 52 Farmer's Market. She prepares some of the best and most delectable vegan food I've heard of, and I'd love to be a chef like her.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Laurie is an awesome girl with a spirited attitude toward veganism. Sometimes, however, I wonder if she's keeping secrets from me, and I thought being friends meant sharing everything with each other. I only hope she doesn't give away anything that could strain our relationship, especially on the Race.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Malta. It's a largely unknown country in the Mediterranean Sea (many Canadians and Americans haven't even heard of it), and I'm interested to see it's customs and games, like sprinting up a log covered in grease to retrieve flags.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I would donate all of my share to our favorite causes, such as: Save the Hunchback Walrus, Goat-co Eco Warriors, and People for the Ethical Treatment of Ants, among others. However, I'd also like to use a little of it to get a license for breeding puppies. Puppies are the most adorable animals!

* * *

 **Noah**

 **What is your best quality?**

Easy, my brain, which is why I need to be in a constant state of rest so it can be used to maximum effectiveness.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• The kind I can't hear

• Meh

• No thanks

• Just ate

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Any country I can read about or look at photographs of, rather than bothering to visit it physically.

 **Best travel so far?**

I took an epic trip to Italy in a coffee table book. You wouldn't believe how realistic the pictures of Rome, Venice, and Vatican City were in that book.

 **Worst travel so far?**

Being forced to literally travel to Great Britain. Man, was it taxing on my body, walking down the streets and in and out of all those pubs and museums and other buildings.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

To continue watching great videos, reading good books, and being lazy as a sloth until old age. Then I'll start becoming physically active.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

I don't know. So many people in my life are so brainless, like Lindsay, or so repulsive, like Heather.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

There are so many challenges with Owen I could name. But I think the biggest might be his incredible flatulence. His gas smells so terrible, I think many public toilets smell better, and that's not saying a lot!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

I'd like to visit America, but again, through an illustrated book. I don't know why; I've just always wanted to visit America.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd buy myself a vast library full of a thousand books, and I'd move in. Oh, and I'd also make sure it was soundproofed.

* * *

 **Owen**

 **What is your best quality?**

I'd say my ability to control my own gaseous emissions. I can fart and burp the alphabet at the same time and alternating.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Oh, I love Dock Rock! Woohoo! Nicklefront!

• Chicken skin beige

• I just saw Overcast With a Chance of Meatwads (food from the sky!)

• The delicious kind you eat

 **Describe your favorite country.**

No offense on the rest of the world, but I've always loved my own, Canada. It's got some of the coolest national pride, next to America! Why else would I wear a jersey-like T-shirt with a Canadian maple leaf on the front and a number 0 on the back? Go, Canada!

 **Best travel so far?**

Camp Wawanakwa. Yeah, I know, nobody else liked it, except for Chris McLean. But it was the most awesome adventure I've ever been on, and hey, I even won the game! Go, Total Drama Island!

 **Worst travel so far?**

The bear cave at Camp Wawanakwa. When I had to get the key to the treasure chests (which, of course, didn't open any chests!), the neighborhood bear thought I was a teddy bear, and then he tried to eat me. I never knew a bear could dislocate his lower jaw so well. Oh, crap infinity!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I wanna keep having fun in life, remain pals with my favorite Total Drama buds, and BBQ all different kinds of foods from all over the world.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

I think that with me, it's more of a case of me wanting to be like someone. I wanna be like one of those guys who won a hot dog-eating contest. I'm sure I could win it, and think of what I might win as a prize! Woohoo!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Noah doesn't have any big flaws that I know of, but he seems like he doesn't always want to try to have fun. I gotta find a way or two to boost his enthusiasm, if I'm not gonna be the only one having fun!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Any place in the world with the most yummy and unique ice creams! Yum, yum!

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

Maybe I'd do what I originally intended to do with my previous prize money from Island: I'd buy lots of sweet grub, a table and chairs, a refrigerator, a freezer, an oven, a microwave, a stove, and a set of dishes and a dishwasher. Then I'd sit down and chow down like there was no tomorrow. Woohoo!

* * *

 **Pete**

 **What is your best quality?**

My dry, and sardonic, sense of humor, of course. What did ya think?

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Ding Cropsy

• Silver

• Top Bun

• String beans and casseroles

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Great Britain is the best, particularly because it's the home of Wimbledon, the epicenter of all great tennis games.

 **Best travel so far?**

Wimbledon was my best travel. Gerry embarrassed me by hitting me on top of the head with a tennis ball while sweat dripped in my eyes. I can't believe I had a defective sweat set! But at least, I got back at him by whacking him over the head with my racket after the game. Ouch! That's gotta hurt, right, Gerry?

 **Worst travel so far?**

Man, I don't like going to jail, especially a foreign jail! Our lawyers came all the way over from Canada to bail us out, and then they told us that if we ever get arrested outside of Canada again, we could take care of ourselves!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I've already fulfilled most of my lifelong to-do list; however, I wanna show Gerry that he'll never outfox my twisted sense of humor in a million years, not even if we win the million dollars and he gets to keep most of it.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Anybody who's better at playing tennis than me, or than Gerry!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Gerry thinks he sleeps so much neater than me, while I drool a bit in my sleep. That's ridiculous! But staying awake at crucial times will be a challenge for both of us.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

I hear Vancouver's a nice place to retire from a lifetime of tennis games. Maybe I'll go there and take in the crisp, healthy air. The city of Vancouver is supposed to be one of the five most livable cities in the world, after all.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I might retire on Vancouver Island, and get myself a house made of stone by the sea. There, I'd live out a life of peace and quiet, and be as far away from Gerry as possible, who would rather retire in the Florida Keys.

* * *

 **Rock**

 **What is your best quality?**

My ability to take things slow and steady.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Hard rock 'n roll

• Blonde

• This is Final Tap

• Peanuts and Coke

 **Describe your favorite country.**

I hear the rock 'n roll in Finland is the bomb! Air guitar is way popular and way cool there, too, and that's why Finland is my favorite country, besides Canada.

 **Best travel so far?**

Spud and I don't travel a lot, but we brought our rookie rock band, "Devil Frog," to school once, to play at the prom, and dude, did those ladies and gents know how to rock or what?! It was like, ("air guitars"), and then it was like, (imitates dancing), and then it was all, "Yeah!"

 **Worst travel so far?**

We also took our band to a concert downtown, but this crowd was a lot different than those at school. It was like, "Dude!" and then it was like, "Whaaatt?" and then it was like "Boooo!" Man, it was like a nightmare!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I want to tour all over Canada, and maybe the world, with "Devil Frog," and I want to take my best bud, Spud, along with me for the ride!

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

I'd love to trade places with Nick Dagger. Man, can that guy pull a mean one when he plays his guitar!

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Spud's kinda slow on the uptake, and has a slow reaction to things, including pain and fear. I might need to find a way or two to motivate him, or we might not make it far.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Australia's Great Barrier Reef, or maybe South Africa's Kruger's National Park. Why? I'm not sure, dude. I guess they just seem like cool, amazing sights to see on a luxury vacation, and maybe I'll get there after we win the Race.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd use it to move out of my parents' basement and get my own apartment, for starters. Then I'd use some to invest in making our band become an official rock band. And I suppose I might use some of the leftovers to go on a vacation to South Africa or Australia, like I just said.

* * *

 **Ryan**

 **What is your best quality?**

I'm a big, strong guy with a big, strong heart.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Ray Charles' soul music

• The color of barbels

• The Blues Brothers

• Toasted white bread (dry)

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Botswana is my favorite country. It's an African country, and I'm African-Canadian; but more to the point, the wildlife is so awesome, it has excellent soccer games, or football, as they call it, and it doesn't have nearly as much political corruption as a lot of other nations in Africa do.

 **Best travel so far?**

Evidently, I've been to Botswana. I had a kind of interesting encounter with three (yes, three) elephants there, which is kind of hard to describe properly. I also visited a nice school there, and I even ate part of a boerewors. Mmm, delicious!

 **Worst travel so far?**

A friend took me to the Democratic Republic of the Congo. I enjoyed seeing a few bonobos, but the country itself was a very unpleasant place, especially politically. I don't trust a country with the words "Democratic Republic" in them, and I still don't know what my friend saw in that nation!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Have a good life as a good certified trainer, a good Baptist, and a good boyfriend/husband.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

I would switch with Ralph Abernathy. He was a great friend and helper to Martin Luther King, but he wasn't in nearly as much daily danger as his more famous colleague was. Abernathy sounds like a good choice, 'cause I'm not ready to live the daily risks Dr. King had to live with, and die with.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Stephanie, my girlfriend, is sweet deep down, but she's pretty competitive too, and sometimes when it comes to competition, she turns into a raging, psychotic bull! I mean, cow!

 **Where would you most like to go, and why?**

I want to go somewhere in Europe next, but I don't know exactly where. Europe is like a whole different part of the world, and I want to see how people live there.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd like to use it to dote on Stephanie with fancy gifts.


	6. Part 6

**PART 6**

 **Sanders**

 **What is your best quality?**

I understand all the rules about how to be a good cop. That, and my innate professionalism.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• 50 Best of Cops

• Navy blue (the popular color of a police uniform)

• Cybercop

• Pulled pork sandwiches

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Germany is one of my favorites. I'm not sure why, except that I admire how their police force works. German police are as good as Canadian or American cops.

 **Best travel so far?**

I had a lot of fun at Universal California a couple years before I applied at the police academy. My favorite things there were the rides, especially the Simpsons Ride.

 **Worst travel so far?**

I was visiting the Boston Marathon, when the terrorist bombings took place there. I remember feeling scared and helpless to catch the bombers or help people, because my training as a policewoman wasn't (and still isn't) complete, and I couldn't help with any of the more dangerous work, as much as I wanted to.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I just want to be a humble police officer, serve the public trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. You don't get a cookie for guessing where I got that phrase from!

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Olivia Benson. She's fictional, yes, but she's also spirited, strong, and doesn't flinch in the face of male authority, and I've never seen one woman hold onto her job and her sanity so well in the face of so many adult crimes.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

MacArthur's tough as nails, and she's also such a show-off, especially with her "glutes." I'm afraid sometimes that she won't make it through the academy because of her lack of professionalism and her macho attitude.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

India. That nation has the most amazing architecture, particularly the Taj Mahal and all its temples and mosques, and I'd like to see how the Indians live their everyday lives, no matter whether they're rich or poor.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

MacArthur's more interested in the prize money than I am, but I suppose I might use some of it to pay for some extra years and training at the academy. I might also use a little to buy a nice house and pay all the price of it at once.

* * *

 **Spud**

 **What is your best quality?**

... … … …Do I have a best quality?

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• ... … … …Hum, hum, hum hum humm…

• ... … …clear, man…

• ... … … …Don't know…

• … … …Let's eat!

 **Describe your favorite country.**

… … … … … … … … …Finland. It rocks, dude!

 **Best travel so far?**

… … … … … … … … …Don't know.

 **Worst travel so far?**

… … … … … … … … …I wanna go home.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

… … … … … … …PARTY ON HARDER!

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

… … … … … … … … … … … … …

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

… … … … … … … … … …No worries, man!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

… … … … … … … … …I wanna go home!

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

… … … … … … …Move out of my parents' basement and into my own apartment, man.

* * *

 **Stephanie**

 **What is your best quality?**

My sharp, competitive edge and my charm as a lady.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Aretha Franklin

• Baby blue

• The Blues Brothers

• Cornbread and hushpuppies

 **Describe your favorite country.**

I don't usually think about having a favorite country, sorry.

 **Best travel so far?**

I've never traveled before.

 **Worst travel so far?**

I already said, I've never traveled before. Stop repeating the same old question over and over!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I want to enjoy a good, long, loving life with my hubby, Ryan, with plenty of soul food and music, lots of Aretha Franklin and Ray Charles songs (Ryan loves Ray Charles' music), and a never-ending love affair of making out.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

How about Rosa Parks? She's a black celebrity in her time, and I've got the same audacity she did to stand up for my own rights.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Ryan's such a big, tough guy, and sweet, but sometimes he can be a bit clumsy, especially when trying to do certain physical stunts. It doesn't help anything that he's 75% upper body and 25% lower body!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

I'd most like to see the Rocky Mountains in western America. Except for some of the mountains in Alaska, they're the biggest, tallest mountains in the U.S., and I've always wanted to go on a mountain hike.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I would go out and buy lots of classy dresses, buy a mansion in the suburbs, and repay Ryan's gifts with some gifts of my own.

* * *

 **Tammy**

 **What is your best quality?**

I know more magic spells than anyone else on the planet!

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Bold soundtrack

• Steel gray

• Bold

• Roast chicken

 **Describe your favorite country.**

I haven't been there yet, but my favorite country is Scotland in the U.K. The ancient castles that dot the landscape are so awesome, and the history of the old Scottish people is rooted in myth and legend.

 **Best travel so far?**

I did get to England once, and it's one of the world's classiest countries. It's where The Lord of the Kings came from, and London is the most astounding city I've seen, with its best feature being Big Ben.

 **Worst travel so far?**

France is not as great a country as so many people give it credit for. The French aren't very fond of North Americans, and their cuisine leaves a lot to be desired. Besides, nobody would take my magic seriously there.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Become a champion at playing the game of chess, invent my own ingenious LARP game, create a spell which can turn people into frogs for real, and convince the world that magic is real.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Nerida, from Bold. She was one brave heroine in that movie, and she believed that magic was real, like her mother, and like me.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

I'm pretty confident Leonard and I can handle any situation we get into without fighting or quarreling.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Scotland, of course. There's no better place to go than the location where Marty Anaconda filmed their hilarious King Arthur mock-up, Quest for the Sacred Cup!

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd like to help Leonard make Dragon Coins out of the money, and build a mythical realm like in a MMORPG. Imagine how cool that would be!

* * *

 **Taylor**

 **What is your best quality?**

I'm cool, I'm cute, I'm pretty, and I've got this game in the bag.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Tell Me Something I Don't Know by Selena Gomez

• Fuchsia

• For Keeps

• Fruit salad

 **Describe your favorite country.**

Who needs a favorite country? I have more important things to worry about, like polishing and filing my nails, and trying on lipstick, and spending more time with daddy and less time with mom.

 **Best travel so far?**

The only travel I enjoy is when I "travel" to the mall for a shopping spree, buying as many fancy dresses and make-up kits as I can, though I still prefer if daddy can get a lot of it for me.

 **Worst travel so far?**

Going on this absurd race with my mother.

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

I have no special plans, but I do intend to keep getting whatever I want whenever I want as life goes by. And if mom has a problem with it, what can I do about it? I'll tell you what. I can use some daddy's girl persuasion to convince dad to divorce her.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

Anybody who can get anything they want in life and not have a fussy, bratty mother hounding their every move.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

With mom as my partner, things are bound to get screwed up. She needs to learn to take my advice about perfection, as well as take some well-deserved time outs.

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

If I have to travel, I'd like to see Paris. It's like, the most gorgeous city in the world, filled with romance, gowns, and sparkling fountains. The Eiffel Tower isn't too eiffel, either-I mean, awful! Do yourself a favor and ignore that slip of the tongue!

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'm not sure, but I wouldn't share my share with mom, that's for sure! Maybe daddy and I could use it together to make my up and coming adult life grandiose, or something.

* * *

 **Tom**

 **What is your best quality?**

My sharp eyes for spotting good (and bad) fashions on strangers.

 **Faves? (music, color, movie, food)**

• Elevator music

• Fez red

• Zooflyer

• Fish 'n chips

 **Describe your favorite country.**

England is purely amazing. I like the fashions that old Englishmen used to wear, like sport coats, waistcoats (as they called vests), brass or gold buttons, shiny shoes, and dashing trousers. And while that style isn't nearly as popular as it used to be, I'd like to try to bring it to modern Canada.

 **Best travel so far?**

Oxford in Britain has the trendiest fashions I've seen in modern times. Plus, it has some excellent universities for teaching English-speaking lessons.

 **Worst travel so far?**

The native tribes of South America don't know what they're missing out on when it comes to looking great! I'd never say it to them, I have too much tact, but their primitive clothing is an eyesore!

 **What is your lifelong to-do list?**

Become a famous fashion designer, maintain a lasting partnership with Jen, maybe a romantic one someday, and introduce Canada and America to the status of the most fashionable people in the world.

 **If you could switch places with someone?**

I know his character's pure evil, but I'd like to be dressed like Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (not Emperor Palpatine or Darth Sidious). His chancellor's robes are very impressive and flamboyant, and I love the colors.

 **Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?**

Jen sometimes refuses to see what is so wonderful about some of my ideas for new fashion. She likes to stick to her own guns. It's like we have creative differences!

 **Where would you most like to visit, and why?**

Mexico. I'd like to see their fashion, too, and their fiestas are supposed to be a lot of fun, too.

 **What would you do if you won the million dollars?**

I'd invest in even more trendy fashions and make an even bigger fortune distributing them across Canada, and maybe the world.


End file.
